Few days back me and a friend had a tiff. I said something which had hurt him and definitely intentionally I would never hurt anyone and him too not even a small ant. Infact generally no one wants to hurt anyone intentionally. When two people fight or argue, the purpose is not to hurt the other but may be establish his/her ego or power. Both intentions look similar or one leads to another but still one is a positive intention and one is a negative intention. When i apologized to him for hurting him, he said he is hurt because of his own reasons ass I did not react as per his expectations and he is hurt because of that not because of what I said. In another case, my mom asked me to do something and I did not do that which had upset her. Now my intention was not to hurt her but it was not to do something which I did not want to do as simple as that. Her happiness dependent on the fact that I obey her orders and when that did not happen, it lead to her unhappiness. If we go further and ask why do we get hurt from someone else’s actions is that we expect others to act as per our actions and when those expectations are not met we get hurt. So it we who is creating the center of that unhappiness. Because we depending on someone else for the happiness. Now expectations create boundations and no river can be held with any kind of boundations and it is bound to break, and this is what happens, when they are broken we are hurt. We have to stop expecting from others to make us happy as we cannot put boundations on others. Our happiness and our expectations shall lie on our locus. The locus of control shall be on self because we can only do anything about self only nothing about others. After that what others do or think is not our prerogative. If you keep depending on someone else, you would always be hurt because they also would get suffocated and they cannot act as per you always, even if they do for certain time as per the situation like kids listen to their parents, they would break free and then you would be hurt again. So better you realise that your happiness is inside you, how you accept things, how you think about them etc.
