We want many things from life and we want many things in our relationship. Most of the times we hear so many complaints especially about what the other person should have done and did not do. Let’s take an example of husband and wife relationship. In general expectation, she should have cooked food and get tea and he should have taken care of household needs and these expectations are so strong and powerful that we don’t look at what the other person is doing. If a wife is doing 100 other things but is not doing one thing which you expected, you tend to negate rest of 100. Same way is there for any other relationship. Few days back, I met a girl whose main resentment from her family is her mother does not cook breakfast and her father does not keep his calm. Now they are her expectations and the real person is much different from this. Second thing is in look at what is not being done she is not looking at what is being done by them. Most importantly when we do something for someone, we want other person to recognise our efforts in doing that and not to recognise what we could not do. We feel bad if we are being judged for what we could not do. Same way the other person would also feel bad if he/she is being judged on that. Now you were already drifting away because you could not get what you had expected and the other person gets tired of doing enough and he feels it’s never enough for you. The relationship starts falling apart, be it any relation, like friendship, family or spousal relation. If you want to lay a strong foundation of your relationship, look at what other person is doing and also what he wanted to do but could not do. Ignore what you had expected as they are your beliefs not the reality.
