Few days back, I met a lady who is expecting everyone around to be there for her, when she needs. Fair enough! She doesnt want her own children to be involved, she is expecting from everyone around. She said that they would be unnecessarily hassled and they have some work. Well, if thats the case then others have work too. Anyway, now the moot question was, if she would be ready to do what she has been expecting from others. Well, she did not do and that is why everyone around her started avoiding her. We say that we should not expect from others, however, we expect most from others and least from ourselves. So many times, when I people come to me with relationship issues, haave the first complaint, my wife is not doing my loundary, she does not give me food on time. She does not talk to me properly and even wives have same attitude, that their husbands do not talk to them properly. Expectations are created and that is how relationships are designed. However, the question is, when you are complaining about others behaviour, are you implementing same? Have you been talking properly with others, when you are expecting this from others. A husband fights over the fact that my wife did not give me food on time, but has he tried giving food to her some day? We always have so many expectations attached with the various roles whichw e are performing in day to day life and if these expectations are not met, then we feel offended. First of all, having expectation is the beginning point of the fall of relationship and own peace. Second thing, its like shifting your locus of control to someone else because when you expect and its not completed, then you feel anger and when you are angry, you lose your control and you lose your all teh wisdom. thats why you end up doing what you would not have done otherwise. Even if you are expecting, always think if you would be able to do same for others, what you have been expecting and if not, then understand other person also cannot fulfill all your expectations. One person called up and said that his friends call him only in the time of need and they do not check upon him on his health etc. I asked him, if he calls up to check upon their health, his answer was, why should I and there he gets the answer that why should they. So expect from others, what you can do for them.
