I saw two children fighting and I asked them, why are you fighting, the girl
replied because he cheated me in Ludo and then what would fight get her, she
said he has cheated me in the game and I am feeling bad for that. I asked her,
if Ludo is important or your brother is important, she said Ludo because I
wanted to win and I could not. I held her close, hugged her and asked her
again, she asked me back, what is important and then I told her, game you can
play again but you will not get another brother, so I guess your brother is
more important than the game. The 6 years old child understood my point and
started playing again. I wish all the fights could be resolved like this and we
all can get to play again. I see couples fighting and when I ask them why they
are fighting they have the similar answers, which resolve around I , me and
mine strories around some incidences which have happened between them. However,
the point is, what are you getting after fighting, are you fighting just to
resolve the ego or you are fighting to each to some conclusion. Most of the
times we keep fighting till the time we keep feeling bad and once that moment
of feeling bad is gone the fight is over. But a lot of damage is being done already
during that time. It leaves us with permanent scars and thats why in every
fight you end up resolving all the past fights why, because they were never
resolved, they were just fought. I was sitting with a friend and he told me,
that his mother and grand mother do not connect with each other and they fight
a lot. More over, in every fight he has to resolve past 35 years and this
happens everytime they fight. So the big question is, if the past 35 years
actually were resolved anytime or they never got resolved. I guess they were
never resolved and that is why they come up every time.
We grow up only biologically but we never grow up mentally. We keep living
in the moments which have hurted us and we are not ready to release that pain
because we never allowed that pain to have full space when it came, so it keeps
struggling with us always and we always keep feeling that. Instead of that
whenever some pain is there or any emotion is there, just sit and feel that
emotion. Understand your story around that emotion, the story which is created
by your ego, I am feeling bad because he said this to me, now ask yourself, why
am I feeling bad, because I did not like it, if I did not like it why I did not
like it, ask yourself, can I change my story around this incidence, if yes,
change the story and you would be able to release the pain associated with any
incidence. Life is not about sufferings from the pain which we have received,
its about out growing those pains and being happy. I am not saying do not
fight, do fight but do fight to resolve not just to fight. BEcause when you
will resolve, you will be at peace. Understand your own feelings and you would
know why things are happening in your life.
