They were fighting and screaming, what have you done for me in past 12 years of marriage? And also crying that if I have not done anything, then I can’t do more. i am done and I want to be separated. They both were looking at, what the other person could not do as per the expectation and fighting over that. Because of lack of acknowledgement of what was being done, they both were feeling hurt too. This made them fight everyday and they wanted a divorce.
Finally I said, I can see, you both have given 1000% in your relationship and because it is not appreciated, you both are feeling hurt. You both are asking, what have you done, now instead of expecting an answer to a rhetorical question, answer that for each other. It is not possible that you both are not aware of what is being done in past 12 years. They both had to write 50 points and also then they had to write, what was not being done. To their surprise, the list of not being done was too small. It had only 2-3 points. They both started crying again and were sorry that, they never accepted what was being done and also that it was just 2-3 things which really did not matter also and for that they had been fighting and were ready to end the relationship.
Now, what needs to be done!
- Make a list of what is being done already.
- Make a list of what all you can do and how can you do more.
- Make a list of things you are grateful for.
- Do not take each other for granted, express your gratitude and love for what is being done.
- Always ask, what more can I do?
- Learn to publicly appreciate your partner rather than putting them down even in joke.
