After 25 years of marriage, 3 children, and abundance at home, she had an affair. When the affair ended, she had another affair. She wanted to share her feelings and she shared that there was no one to talk to. Whenever she tried saying anything to her husband, he commented back or did not listen. Sometimes, he even gave hurtful comments. She lost faith in her relationship. She felt like she was doing everything but she did not have anyone to talk to. She wondered 25 years of marriage for what? She was doing everything selflessly, taking care of his parents, raising children, left her career, and everything else but there was no one to even talk to. She hadn’t smiled in years. She met him online and he made her laugh. She had forgotten to laugh. Though she always heard that how come she was always sitting silent. She never smiled. And in answer to that, she could make an effort to smile but she could not. She did not know if she could be happy. All she knew was she had to do her work or responsibilities but no one would look at that. Everyone still would feel, she was a fool and she was useless and she was not doing anything. But was she the same? No, she used to smile all the time, she used to work a lot, she loved people and people loved her. She lost herself and then she giggled when someone heard her. Her husband always said that I can be your therapist, I can be better than your therapist and she said, please be one. Still, he could not understand her emotions.
Who is to be blamed for their failing marriage?
When your partner, child, friend, or anyone, wants to share the emotions, be a compassionate listener. Everyone needs to be heard without judgment. No one needs a reminder of mistakes, some bad experiences, comparison. They already do that and hear that a lot. Sometimes, all we need is someone who says, I understand, you have been doing a lot.
Be compassionate and you will have a best friend in your family, partner, child, and everyone you meet.
