Are we able to serve with love to those who have hurt us?

sheetal Uncategorized Leave a Comment

My friend called in. She was crying very badly as she had a fight with her husband. They were living with his parents and everyday she had to listen to one or other thing for not being perfect. She was managing both office and home and still she would listen to all. (Common story of many Indian house holds where world is expected out of daughter in law without even bothering if she has eaten). She was crying because she was still doing everything but now the fight was about you are not happy while doing things. You do not love my parents was the biggest comment she heard most of the times. It had been seven years and she wondered how long she would take it for a man who did not care how she felt. After listening to her, I asked her to talk to her husband and ask him to support her. She is ready to do everything which she always does. But have they treated her with love anytime? Why he does ask them to speak to her with love. She also deserved to be spoken to with love after doing so much for everyone. Now a days, you cant speak badly even with servants then why to take the daughter in law granted.

She went to her husband and asked him and he said they are grown up and he can’t say anything to them. All the pain of seven years came out. She told him all the problems and said he never took stand for her. She has heard all bad things about herself and family and still she is doing all and in return she can’t even get the respect she deserved. When he goes to her place, he expects the best and at his place, she can’t even expect to be treated with respect. She left saying all this. After few days, he requested to her to come back and no one said anything. But there was a coldness and bad face towards her. Finally she heard, now we can’t even say anything. YES! I would say you can’t and why should you! Finally they started living separately. His parents used to come and stay with them occasionally and she always served them happily but with love was always a question! She always maintained their respect and dignity but silently she cried many times for the way she was treated. She was not even given proper food when she had fallen sick. No one bothered she would be hungry and she needed support.

I wonder about this system and I wonder can we blame the person to serve with love? Can we hold someone accountable for that? I do not know how much strength we need for that. First to serve people who have hurt you a lot despite of serving them day and night and then to be happy that you are getting an opportunity to serve them.

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